I thought of drinking coffee to calm my soul down, but it reminds me of your eyes. It isn’t green nor hazel, but for me, your eyes are just so beatiful the way it is. But then, I remembered the scent of coffee and ciggarette, I remembered you and your eyes. The tears that were filling your coffee eyes and it isn’t calming my soul down. So I go outside for walks when the sun isn’t too bright nor is it too dark. It’s a weather that should help me forget about everything, so I breathed in and out deeply. It should work but I remembered the poem I wrote for you. A poem that says you were my air, it’s you who keeps me alive. A poem that I thought was forgotten but ‘till that moment, I remembered every detail when I wrote that poem. You said that if you’re my air, then you’re so honored to fill my lungs to keep me breathing. Fresh air and going for walks aren’t working So I wait for the night, not to stargaze, but to sleep. I’m not in the mood to stargaze, you told me that our destiny is written in the stars, it was a big lie. So I tried to sleep, but the thought of me sleeping alone reminds me that I won’t be sleeping with your presence anymore. I don’t have to find your presence in the morning anymore, I’ll just sleep and wake up without your presence beside me. If you can’t see, almost everything reminds me of you. Or it’s just me, missing you so damn much
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